don't mess with texas

i now have the privilege of writing part 2 of our much needed vacation. amber wrote of the texas reception, but i must first return to earlier that day when kyle and i gave our wives a quick tour of grand ole abilene, including a stop at the grace museum to show off how cultured we pretend to be. after our fun with the cool sound effect wall, we quickly bypassed most of the boring stuff (stopping occasionally to make disparaging remarks with our sly wit when it was clearly required of us to make fun of certain art work), and found our way to the children’s area! we shot air at each other, played with the mini tornado, and pushed kids aside so that we could dance in front of the retro-colored-screen-thingy! good times. then, as a less than thrilling finale to the museum, we finished with the ‘historic abilene’ floor, seeing rooms through the ages and learning all about boots. exciting. i prefer shark skin myself.

the reception was that night, church the next day, and then monday, me, amber, and the whole bryson clan (22 in total) were off to san antonio. a short 4 hour drive later and we stood at the gates of schlitterbahn, the greatest waterpark in the world! say it slowly – IN… THE… WORLD! too bad so many people agree because the lines were way too long. fun day still, but awfully tiring. day two of our san antonio excursion found us back at schlitterbahn. this time we hopped the tram over to the other half of the park across town and quickly found the line for the ‘master blaster’, voted time and again by water ride experts (i believe they only offer that degree at yale) as the best water ride in the history of the universe ever! say it slowly – IN… THE… HISTORY… OF… THE… UNIVERSE… EVER! too bad so many people have read the scientific papers written on the subject because the line was about 2 hours long! and very deceptive. after an hour you think you’re almost to the end, then you walk up the stairs and you’re hit with the sad realization you’ve got another hour wait. i felt used, cheap, and dirty. but the ride was a blast, so it’s hard to complain too much.

we eventually found our way to the wave pool lazy river. i did forget to mention that we had purchased a waterproof disposable camera for the trip. for my ease, i put the camera into my swimsuit pocket (which is a great invention cuz i used to have to hold stuff when i swam – now my wallet and phone fit nicely into my pocket). well we get into this not-so-lazy river and i notice a camera floating by me. i smirk, check my pocket, then tore into a frantic spasm after the camera. having secured it, i made the brilliant move of putting it right back into my pocket, since it worked so well the first time. a couple laps in the river and again i notice it missing. i was sure it was gone for good this time, but just as i thought this, a plump little girl floats by in her tube, randomly taking pictures with a camera that looked an awful lot like ours. amber chases her down and asks if the camera is hers. she says no and promptly drops it back into the water and we watch as the current whisks the camera away. we chased it down quickly enough, which ended up not being as important as we wished it had – very few of the pictures turned out. oh well. funny story.

day three found us touring the sights of san antonio. first stop was the alamo (which is really nothing more than a boring museum, but don’t tell my texan friends i said so). we then wandered down to the river walk and had lunch at the hard rock café. amber and i then snuck away from the bryson party and drove over to austin to see her brother jarom, his wife linda, and their new baby boy jadon. jadon was a little shy around us, but was still way too cute. ladies, mark your calendars now – sixteen years from now he’ll be available. J

day four had us back at an amusement park, but this time it was six flags: fiesta texas. while we definitely enjoyed the much shorter lines, we definitely missed the water because it was hot! at our very first ride, the boy in front of us passed out from the heat. we kept plenty hydrated, rode some roller coasters, found shade as often as possible, relaxed often, and had an enjoyable day. we gathered at the end of the night and enjoyed a firework/ laser light show boasting of the greatness of texas. amber was so inspired that she was ready to drive a truck, ride a bull, fight for the alamo, or do any other truly texan thing to show her loyalty.

we headed back to abilene the next day and back home to provo the day after that. a lot of driving, a lot of walking, a lot of sun, and a lot of money spent (almost all by the parents – thank you so much mom and dad!), but it was a very fun couple of weeks. and i can now proudly say my wife is a true texan! she knows the four seasons of texas, has been to the alamo, got in a drunken bar fight and stabbed a guy with a broken pool stick, and has seen a prairie dog. yee haw amber! slowly - YEE... HAW... !